Anger - The Toxic Friend

Every person is different, from the way that they feel anger to the reason that it was caused. It’s important to remember that behind anger, there is always hurt. Anger issues almost always stem from unresolved emotional pain. Insecurities, trauma and fear can be other supporting causes.


Sometimes, we tend to repress anger without realizing it, convincing ourselves we never have any such feelings and are not the emotional type, or that we were just ‘born happy-go-lucky’.


Repressed anger tends to have deep roots, going all the way back to childhood, and it can be hard to manage it by yourself.


People can handle a limited amount of stress caused by anger and if left unchecked, it will exceed your capability to handle it. Anger left untreated can erode physical and mental health, where the resulting trauma causes pain.


The pain keeps you distracted from the 'real issue' that needs to be addressed. How someone addresses their anger depends on the belief that the person has about expressing anger.


For example, if someone was told that expressing anger is a bad thing. They might have internalized it and then at the event when anger showed up, they packed it off into their body and stored the energy of anger which now manifests as pain.

Emotional pressure can come from any situation you face that leaves your heart racing and your mind in turmoil. Learning how to unravel feelings of anger can help you to heal.


Think of Anger as your friend. Anger is always there for you when you need it, supporting you when you've been hurt. This is why it can be misunderstood as empowerment.


However, Anger is not a good friend. They are not loyal, they can be demanding, and they can influence you to do what is not good for you. Anger can be best described as the toxic friend that needs to be cut from your life.


What is important about learning to release anger from your life is that you need to release it for yourself in a safe way. Realize that anger and violence are not the same things.


A healthy release of anger never involves abuse or violence on yourself or any other living being. But, Toxic Anger will derive this out of you.


The next time that anger comes to overwhelm your senses, do not react to the feeling or suppress it in any way. Deal with the hurt that inflicts pain on your mind and body. Visualizing a dialogue with the cause of your hurt - or your hurter - is super powerful. That way, you can really get the anger out and say everything they have ever wanted to. Drive out your anger along with all the hurt you have repressed.


Get into a comfortable position, relaxing on a sofa or laying down on a bed, focusing on breathing in and out slowly and deeply. Feel your breath entering your body, and imagine that it is filled with cleansing blue light. As you exhale, picture negativity leaving your body as clouds of grey. With every exhale, imagine yourself letting go of everything that hurts you.


Recognize that the pain that you hold is not what makes you stronger. Realizing that you need help to move on from the pain is what gives you the strength to grow. Let out the anger that holds you back. It is not your friend.


© 2020 Aruna Kalaiselvi Therapy.